A Year of Breastfeeding

Warning! LONG brag post!

Breastfeeding is one of the most difficult things that I've ever done. When people say it comes naturally, what's so difficult about it? I'd really like my palm to meet their face. Yes it is a natural thing, but it takes some serious work to breastfeed correctly.

We had so many issues when starting out. We had latch issues which we thought was related to a tongue tie, Dax lost too much weight and couldn't gain because he wouldn't eat, and we got literally no sleep for weeks because of these issues. As first time parents we had a TON of support at the hospital, but I was a little disappointed that we didn't have anyone really direct us in how often baby needed to eat, etc., so going home we were just winging it.

Because Dax wasn't gaining weight, we were in the pediatricians office every day that first week, including the day after we got home. We had strict instructions to wake him every 2 hours around the clock to feed him and to supplement when needed. This was very frustrating because by the time baby was changed, the time it took to wake him up to eat, and having to keep him upright for 20 minutes after the feeding because of spitting up, sometimes we would go back to sleep with only 30 minutes until the next feeding. Waking him to eat was another problem because like every other new baby, he just wanted to sleep! We had to undress him in the freezing house, tickle him, blow on him... anything to get him to wake up, and stay awake! We were exhausted and by sun down every night, I was in tears with sadness and frustration. This is when we finally decided to see a lactation consultant who really helped boost my self esteem and helped to make breastfeeding successful, she was our last resort.

The next hurdle was Dax screaming whenever he ate which we found out was due to reflux and a dairy/soy allergy. The reflux meds made him spit up more than he already did, which was every feeding already, so we stopped giving it to him and just focused on what I was eating, which would soon seem like nothing. Have you ever looked at the ingredients of what you eat? EVERYTHING has dairy or soy! Although difficult to completely change my diet, I was determined to breastfeed this kid for as long as possible, drastic diet change and all. Because of breastfeeding on a no dairy diet, not only did I quickly lose the 27 lbs I gained while pregnant, but I lost another 16 lbs on top of that putting me at 106 lbs...less then I weighed in high school. Weight loss is my biggest challenge now and I'm now working hard to GAIN.

Going back to work was the biggest hurdle because pumping is nothing like a baby nursing and going back in August for this school year was my lowest point, aside from when we first started out. I had really convinced myself that it was time to quit because it was just too hard with all of the preplanning and just not having time to do anything except breathe. Between break downs due to stress of work, and what seemed to be a diminishing supply multiple times, there were so many times I wanted to quit, and so many times when I thought quitting was my only option, but I pushed through and never gave up and I wouldn't change a thing about what I've accomplished.

My breastfeeding goal was 1 year, when he would be able to start on regular milk. I wanted to avoid formula at all costs because for ME, breast milk was best. It's also really convenient and doesn't take much thought once a routine is established. I mean, you can't accidentally forget to bring a boob when you go out to dinner. I nursed Dax in probably 5 diffident states, plenty of restaurants, in theme parks, at parks, at other houses, in front of others, in the car, on a battlefield, heck...I even nursed him at the top of a mountain with a beautiful view!

My body went through crazy changes, let's be real--my body went through hell, but for 21+ months, my body provided what was needed for another life to grow and to live. Crazy right?

Since Dax turned 1, he has grown out of his dairy allergy so I've stopped pumping at work and he is on whole milk during the day. Although I'll be weaning him completely due to a baby free vacation coming up in February, I'm still nursing him every night before bed. It's amazing what the human body can do and how it can change to accommodate needs. Did I mention that breastfeeding DOES get better? And that breastfeeding DOES become natural after some time? It's kind of strange now going all day without pumping or nursing because it was my every day lifestyle for a whole year. It's a precious bonding time that I'll surely miss but I know we will find another way to continue bonding. (And yes, I'd do the same for the next baby.)

Including the time before going to work, summer break and holidays, I pumped for about 10 months for work and 12+ months nursing all other times, 100% my milk--all day, everyday. The only supplementing with formula he got was the first couple of weeks, and even then he didn't get much.

I'm so amazed and proud of myself for what I've accomplished because I know how difficult and tiring it is. I had so many supporters and friends who sent me encouraging messages, and had people I could talk to who were breastfeeding at the same time and could relate to the craziness. Thank you to those of you who understood why I made this choice and why I continued to push through when it sometimes seemed the world was against me, I honestly don't think I would have made it this long without it all.

To those of you breastfeeding, don't give up. It is always possible to reach even the toughest of goals, especially when it's outcome can make you feel like a stronger person.

***Breastfeeding isn't for everyone, nor does it work for everyone. This is simply my view, my opinion, and my story. It is not meant to offend or put down formula feeding mom's. As a mom amongst a community of other mom's, we all have the same final goal in mind of keeping our kids healthy and safe, using the ways that we as individuals see fit.***

Breastfeed on!